Ever say something and get a blank stare from your listener? Or you’re talking at a meeting and somewhere in the audience you hear a “Whoa” sound. You can just feel this knot incubate in your stomach, realizing that you said something you know stepped over the line.
It happens every day, of course, to famous people all over the world.
This week, one crucial situation provided a great example of stepping over the line. The CEO of BP, Tony Hayward, was perceived as handling a major oil spill crisis in a proactive manner. But his comments offended all of his potential supporters and the government by stating “It wasn’t our accident,” he told the Today Show on Monday. Pressed by anchor Meredith Vieira, Hayward claimed: “The drilling rig was a Transocean drilling rig. It was their rig and their equipment that failed, run by their people, their processes.”
That statement, blaming others and taking no responsibility himself, caused an outcry from Gulf States suffering from the oil spill.
In fact, Hayward’s arrogance could easily characterize the tone of many CEOs in this era of financial collapse and ethical misconduct.
Will Hayward (or managers at Goldman Sachs or hundreds of other CEOs in financial institutions across the land) win back the faith of the American people?
Once people at work (or home) change their perception of you, or if you are perceived being aggressive, it’s difficult to gain back trust or change the perception. The fact is, one year of perfect behavior/communication, followed by one mistake, can reinforce people’s negative perception of you.
Whether you are in the public eye or not, here are some quick tips for staying on the assertive rather than aggressive side of Smart Communication:
• Prepare notes, and refer to them during meetings or presentations.
• If possible, record your ideas and play them back to yourself. How would you feel if you were the recipient?
• Talk to a trusted source before you have to speak at the meeting or with a boss or client.
• If you are put on the spot, or speaking off the cuff, take a deep breath and think for a moment. It’s okay to say, “Please just give me a moment to think, or could you repeat the question?
Nobody at work or home expects you to speak like a professional. However, if you practice simple, Smart Communication techniques you can quickly be perceived as an excellent, Smart Communicator. Tune in Sunday morning when we talk on Blog talk Radio, the Consultant/Insultant at 8:30 AM http://www.blogtalkradio.com/consultantinsultant
Ever surprised by how you are perceived by others at work?
Remember the skills that got you hired? You were told some of the following traits were what the team or company needed:
• Risk taker
• Assertive
• Producer, you get things done
• Direct and to the point in communication
• No B.S., you take no prisoners in pushing a project
• Easy going, you can get along with anybody
• Tact & Finesse in difficult communication issues
Oops!! Then you receive the call to your boss’s office right before probation ends, or your performance review begins, or after a difficult project is completed. The conversation might be something like: “Hmm, the staff thinks you don’t listen to input and are too abrupt. You’re being accused of flirting, being sarcastic, too flexible, not taking charge…”
I know I was stunned the first time it happened to me. Why are some people perceived as great when they are assertive and brusque, and others are perceived as mean or abrasive for the same traits? When did being diplomatic get you hired but in trouble if a project is being done too slowly?
Often times our perception of ourselves is off base the first year on a new job. When you are brought into a team or company where other employees have been there more than a year, being the new kid on the block can be most difficult. Many of us forget that while people may put on a friendly exterior, trust can take up to a year to grow. People are judging us, and watching and testing. Work is political.
Here are some tips to make sure you stay on target:
• Make sure your job description is crystal clear with you and your boss, and the team
• Check in with your peers about how you are perceived after a staff meeting or client call
• Monitor yourself. Be yourself; err on the side of caution when expressing opinions and decisions by using supporting data, not just your opinion.
Tune in Sunday morning when we talk on Blog talk Radio, the Consultant/Insultant at 8:30 AM http://www.blogtalkradio.com/consultantinsultant