A Three-Part Phone Conversation with the Insultant/Consultant Team of Dr. Brian and Dr. Gary

Imagine you’re in the travel business – in 2010 – and not only are people cutting back on their entertainment expenses, but every day another airline is announcing more restrictions, delays, up front costs, and security problems.

Oil now threatens to destroy beach travel all across the South.

Even new political changes and scandals (AIG, immigration laws) cause entire companies to boycott having conventions or conferences anywhere outside their warehouse.

And to make matters worse, the whole of Europe with its economic turmoil turns potential European tourists into stay-at home-vacationers.

“Why bother? I’ll just take my two weeks, stay at home with my family, and barbecue,” one client told me.

“This summer? We’re hiking, biking, and museum hopping at home,” said another.

How do you inspire and motivate a staff to wake up every morning and feel like making wildly profitable cold calls when your clientele is shrinking and the world around you seems to be on the edge of default?

Tune into their greatest challenge ever: Motivating the Unmotivated.

This Sunday, Dr. Brian and Dr. Gary start a three part series about staying motivated during trying times.

June 6 Part One: Learn how to distinguish yourself from other companies and other employees. How do you uniquely create your own niche through better email communication, better phone calls, more energized spirited positive messaging so that you go beyond the proverbial weather issues (the economy, competition, attracting customers, environment)

June 13 Part Two: What can companies and employers do themselves that will inspire this positive attitude the moment the employee steps into the door? In fact, is there a test to see if you’re even capable of developing this distinguishable attitude? Tune into for some surprising tips on interview questions and systems you can institute to assure you’re hiring a “positive” person.

June 20 Part Three: In honor of Father’s Day, Dr. Brian and Dr. Gary have a real surprise for you. What influences did your father or mother have on your ability to be motivated at work? Are some employees just simply better at this because of their upbringing? What can families do to inspire their children to develop a natural affinity to bounce back? Be positive? Be self-motivated?

You can’t afford to miss this opportunity to hear two experts (the sickeningly tell it like it is Dr. Brian and the gleamingly glass-too-full Dr. Gary) to discuss new ways to deal with everyday employee problems and dilemmas.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/consultantinsultant

Ever say something and get a blank stare from your listener? Or you’re talking at a meeting and somewhere in the audience you hear a “Whoa” sound. You can just feel this knot incubate in your stomach, realizing that you said something you know stepped over the line.

It happens every day, of course, to famous people all over the world.
This week, one crucial situation provided a great example of stepping over the line. The CEO of BP, Tony Hayward, was perceived as handling a major oil spill crisis in a proactive manner. But his comments offended all of his potential supporters and the government by stating “It wasn’t our accident,” he told the Today Show on Monday. Pressed by anchor Meredith Vieira, Hayward claimed: “The drilling rig was a Transocean drilling rig. It was their rig and their equipment that failed, run by their people, their processes.”
That statement, blaming others and taking no responsibility himself, caused an outcry from Gulf States suffering from the oil spill.
In fact, Hayward’s arrogance could easily characterize the tone of many CEOs in this era of financial collapse and ethical misconduct.
Will Hayward (or managers at Goldman Sachs or hundreds of other CEOs in financial institutions across the land) win back the faith of the American people?
Once people at work (or home) change their perception of you, or if you are perceived being aggressive, it’s difficult to gain back trust or change the perception. The fact is, one year of perfect behavior/communication, followed by one mistake, can reinforce people’s negative perception of you.
Whether you are in the public eye or not, here are some quick tips for staying on the assertive rather than aggressive side of Smart Communication:
• Prepare notes, and refer to them during meetings or presentations.
• If possible, record your ideas and play them back to yourself. How would you feel if you were the recipient?
• Talk to a trusted source before you have to speak at the meeting or with a boss or client.
• If you are put on the spot, or speaking off the cuff, take a deep breath and think for a moment. It’s okay to say, “Please just give me a moment to think, or could you repeat the question?

Nobody at work or home expects you to speak like a professional. However, if you practice simple, Smart Communication techniques you can quickly be perceived as an excellent, Smart Communicator. Tune in Sunday morning when we talk on Blog talk Radio, the Consultant/Insultant at 8:30 AM http://www.blogtalkradio.com/consultantinsultant

Ever surprised by how you are perceived by others at work?

Remember the skills that got you hired? You were told some of the following traits were what the team or company needed:

• Risk taker
• Assertive
• Producer, you get things done
• Direct and to the point in communication
• No B.S., you take no prisoners in pushing a project
• Easy going, you can get along with anybody
• Tact & Finesse in difficult communication issues

Oops!! Then you receive the call to your boss’s office right before probation ends, or your performance review begins, or after a difficult project is completed. The conversation might be something like: “Hmm, the staff thinks you don’t listen to input and are too abrupt. You’re being accused of flirting, being sarcastic, too flexible, not taking charge…”

I know I was stunned the first time it happened to me. Why are some people perceived as great when they are assertive and brusque, and others are perceived as mean or abrasive for the same traits? When did being diplomatic get you hired but in trouble if a project is being done too slowly?

Often times our perception of ourselves is off base the first year on a new job. When you are brought into a team or company where other employees have been there more than a year, being the new kid on the block can be most difficult. Many of us forget that while people may put on a friendly exterior, trust can take up to a year to grow. People are judging us, and watching and testing. Work is political.

Here are some tips to make sure you stay on target:

• Make sure your job description is crystal clear with you and your boss, and the team
• Check in with your peers about how you are perceived after a staff meeting or client call
• Monitor yourself. Be yourself; err on the side of caution when expressing opinions and decisions by using supporting data, not just your opinion.

Tune in Sunday morning when we talk on Blog talk Radio, the Consultant/Insultant at 8:30 AM http://www.blogtalkradio.com/consultantinsultant

Does the amount of money you are paid buy the right for an employer to ask insulting or intrusive questions?

This week the NFL came into the public eye when the General Manager of the Miami Dolphins asked Dez Bryant, a potential player: “Is your mother a prostitute?”

This is probably not a question one might expect applying for a bank vice president position, but in the NFL, where a player could earn over six figures and be a role model to millions, are such questions kosher?

How did the NFL, current and former players react? Seventy percent of NFL administrators and former players said that when you might be paid THIRTY MILLION dollars, any question is allowed. Thirty percent of former administrators said it was unacceptable, and Mike Ditka, former coach of the Chicago Bears said “I might have hit him if he asked me that question.”

What was the reaction at your workplace?

Does the amount of money you are paid impact how much your privacy can be invaded?

While State and Federal laws impact every non-sports- related business, professional sports teams are not necessarily bound by all the same laws.

The GM ostensibly asked that question to see how the player would react under pressure, but was the question about his mother too personal and demeaning?

Many business owners attempting to hire the right candidate in a flooded job market gather as much information as possible about an employee to protect the company. For example, if you suspected a candidate had a drug problem in the past, or a family member in prison, or a stint in a rehab center, can you bring those issues up? And how do you feel about being asked such intrusive questions?

During this tight economy, many employees may feel they cannot defend themselves from aggressive, intrusive company practices. Are you able to be assertive and say “That is inappropriate? Can you back off or rephrase that?”

Tune in this Sunday for the beginning of a three-week series on what can be said (or not said) at work, in interviews, and even in off-hours , when you might be sipping a beer with the CEO. Dr. Brian and Dr. Gary’s Insultant/Consultant Show always brings you surprising commentary and deliberate controversy. This Sunday at 8:30 AM PST http://www.blogtalkradio.com/consultantinsultant

Dear Bill,

I talked to cousin Sam yesterday and he said you were supposed to call me re: the funeral.
I was so upset you didn’t call me. I would not have missed it for anything. Next time, call me when someone dies in the family.

Love, Marla
———————————————————————————————————

Dear Marla,

You didn’t go to either of my sons’ weddings last year. Why would you suddenly appear at a funeral? And I didn’t call you because Sam said he’d make those calls himself. You should know me better than that.

Bill
———————————————————————————————————
Dear Bill

I’m sorry. I wasn’t mad at you. That’s just the information I got. You know I was sick last year and couldn’t make either of the weddings. Don’t have such a fit.

Marla
——————————————————————————————————-
Dear Marla,

I’m not having a fit… Next time, pick up the phone and ask me what’s going on rather than accuse me via mail.
Bill

Dear Bill,

What accusations are you talking about?

Marla

And it goes on and on.

The two bicker back and forth, never picking up the phone to discuss the matter, and before you know, the emails are forwarded to family and friends, each one defending their position.

Ever have an email war with your family? Tension builds. Frustrations grow out of control. And whatever you put in your writing, it’s there forever.

A lot of times we forget embarrassing and shameful things that are said out loud. They just disappear out of our memory. But with emails, they live forever.

They could survive an Icelandic volcano, because they are invisible creatures that never die.

Find out how to control them and keep your family safe from troublesome emails. Tune into Dr. Gary and Dr Brian’s Insultant/ Consultant Show this Sunday at 8:30 am and discover some tricks, secrets, and strategies for keeping you and your family out of email hell. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/consultantinsultant

Ever been banned from attending a celebration?

With Sunday’s Oscars looming around the corner, Nicholas Chartier reached out to his fellow academy award members by writing a simple but provocative email, imploring them to vote for his small independent film, The Hurt Locker – and not that big behemoth $500 million dollar blockbuster, Avatar.

His efforts backfired.

Not only did the Academy rebuke Chartier for violating Oscar rules that prohibit mailings promoting a film and disparaging another, but they’ve banned him from the ceremony itself.

So even if The Hurt Locker wins big time, Chartier will not be hopping on stage with his fellow producers to accept the academy award for best picture.

Imagine a chance of a lifetime to be in front of 40 million people, and instead, poor Chartier must stay home with the kids, eating a Hungry Man TV dinner, and watching the ceremony on his ten-year-old Toshiba.

Can one email really end a career?

Certainly, it might be rare to lose one’s job or in this case be banned from a celebration, but it’s not unusual to hear management complain about arrogant, attitude-ridden emails that violate ethical, moral, or professional etiquette.

To be fair, Chartier immediately bounced an email back apologizing. “”My naïveté, ignorance of the rules and plain stupidity as a first-time nominee is not an excuse for this behavior and I strongly regret it,”

But it came too late. Damage was done. The film may not win because of this email. And Chartier will go down in history as the only producer ever banned from the Academy Awards.

So what could Chartier have done differently that would have changed not only his fate, but the success of his film? What can we learn from his mistakes?

Here are three rules to consider before sending the email that could ruin your career:

1. Never put anything in writing that you might regret afterwards. Don’t do it. In fact, don’t even write it on the computer. If you need to express your feelings in writing, use a pen. Write on paper. And then burn it afterwards.

2. Always get feedback before sending an email that might spark controversy. In this case, Chartier should have picked up the phone, called an academy board member, and asked, “How would you feel if I sent an email out asking voters to support my little film?”

Do your research first before writing the email.

3. Never overreach your boundaries via email.

Chartier basically overstepped his bounds. He criticized a competitor and begged voters to support his film.

Be careful of interspersing your hidden values or moral preferences.

The competitor –the director or Avatar— was once married to the director of The Hurt Locker, so embedded in this contest is a whole other level of social/political even sexual intrigue voters may have gleaned from this email.

Why are emails so easily misunderstand?

This misinterpretation – or “reading within the lines” – happens all the time in business.

Recently the President of a large electronic firm innocently moralized to his staff, asking
everyone to join him in a physical fitness program instead of sitting at home watching American Idol.

Big mistake. He not only implied that his staff was fat and lazy, but he insulted his group by
labeling their favorite show, American Idol, as a complete and utter waste of time.

Who are you to judge me – Mr. Play-Golf-At-The-Country-Club-Every-Weekend?

Want to write an awesome email – free of baggage?

Now it could very well be that voters will ignore Chartier’s stupidity and vote for the film they feel deserves “Best Picture.” But we live in an age where we are generously influenced by social media and television commentary. No one lives in a cave anymore, and that is true in business as well. Gossip spreads fast. An innocent but disparaging email could sink your reputation or be grounds for your dismissal.

For information on how to write an awesome email – free of baggage – check out my chapter on Email Road Rage in The Mouth Trap: Strategies Tips and Secrets to Keep Your Foot Out of Your Mouth. You can also receive a copy of that chapter free by simply emailing me a request: gary@theemailwizard.com

And for information on seminars and workshops, visit www.theemailwizard.com or call me directly at 1-866-974-8333.

You’d think he was fightin’ mad.

After only seven months on the job, he and (his entire staff) were fired this week.

He lost what has sometimes been called the best job in the world.

And he’s being replaced by the very person who had the job originally.

But Conan O’Brian spoke of his job loss at NBC with his usual flair and sense of humor.

“Tonight I am allowed to say whatever I want. No, I really am,” he said, prefacing what the audience expected to be an outpour of sarcasm and vitriol. But, no, he diplomatically praised NBC and thanked the company for all that they did for him in the past twenty years.

That, my friends, is how you do it.…with kindness, sincerity, and discretion. If you lose your job or suffer the loss of an important client, even if you feel it’s unfair, unwarranted and plain wrong, it makes sense to filter your words so you say the right thing.

Burning your bridge in 21010 means you’ll have no where to go should opportunities ever come your way.

Here are tips to help you filter what you’re thinking and make smart choices of what to say:

1. Make a list of everything that’s bothering you – what makes you angry, frustrated, and even vindictive.
2. Take full responsibility for each of these. How did I contribute to this problem?
3. What issues are worth sharing with my boss?
4. By sharing this with your boss, will any of this help you keep your job or move you in a direction where you can expect a positive referral?
5. If there is no real rhyme or reason to share (it won’t help your future), say nothing.
6. In that case, thank your power people at work for everything they’ve done. Show appreciation. Keep both feet in the business until the day you leave. And feel proud that if you left your business today, you can depend on your boss for a positive referral.

Conan’s farewell speech came probably after many days of heated negotiation. But we didn’t feel any of that when he spoke the other night because he showed restraint as well as humility.

. Once the anger subsides and logic kicks in, you can make smart decisions that may prove valuable some day. You never know who you may bump into or need as a referral.
The business world is a lot smaller than you think.